Monthly Archives: October 2013

Micro-wave

I have already noted my complicated relationship with magazine subscriptions. And say what you will about it, I have long been a Martha Stewart subscriber. Hate all you want, but reading Martha Stewart’s magazine is one of the few things in the world that doesn’t make me feel inadequate. It’s kind of like the projects in there are done by some species other than humans, or by some little-known subculture from the 16th Century. Those projects are not for actual people to attempt. The magazine is merely an attempt to document these achievements, to study them.

But in the most recent issue, they actually touch on something that I know something about: small-space living. The Fun Apartment is a small space. And we live here! So let me quote: “The 1,800-square-foot Northern California home of Remodelista design blogger Julie Carlson is a master class in small-space living.”

Wait, what? Small-space living? 1,800 square feet? Small-space living? Really?

Maybe I am right in my theory about the aliens. Perhaps the family members are each 9 feet tall and with 8 foot wide antlers, with long dragging tails, with snowshoe-like pads on each of their 13 feet. It is only in a alternate universe that 1,800 square feet is small-space living. 1,800 square feet borders on nearly FOUR TIMES the size of the Fun Apartment.

There has been a lot of press in recent years about “microliving.” It strikes me, as I read about my fellow microns, that no one mentions that this hot new trend requires a storage unit, and that the minute you put down your keys and take off your shoes, the place is a mess. Heaven protect you from your children playing with their toys. (Although, typically, microns live alone, to remain true to their minimalism.)

Microliving is only an interesting trend because rich white people are doing it alone. If you subtract money from the equation, it’s just poverty. If you add other people into the space, it’s high density. Poverty and high density are generally not considered desirable qualities in urban real estate.

And yes, I did tear out one of the ideas from the master class is medium to large space living.

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