(A conversation before bedtime, in which we discuss jewelry, fear of commitment, arranged marriage, homosexuality, gender confusion, and anatomical differences between men and women. And during which I nearly choked myself trying to stifle the giggling.)
T: Mommy, why do you have to wear your wedding ring?
Me: Because it’s special to me.
T: Does Papa make you wear it?
Me: No, I like to wear it, because it’s special to me. It means I’m married.
T: I want to get married.
Me: Someday. Good night, sweetheart.
T: I don’t want to ask someone.
Me: Oh, well. Maybe someone will ask you instead.
T: I hope someone picks me.
Me: Someone will pick you. Good night, sweetheart.
T: Mommy, I hope it’s one of my friends who picks me. Not a stranger.
Me: It won’t be a stranger.
T: But what if the stranger is nice?
Me: It will probably be someone you know. Someone you love. Good night, sweetheart.
T: Will it be a girl?
Me: Umm. Probably, but maybe not.
T: Sometimes it’s a girl and sometimes people have two daddies.
Me: Yes. Sometimes they do. Good night, sweetheart.
T: I’m going to be a daddy.
Me: Yes, not anytime soon, though. Good night, sweetheart.
T: Am I a boy?
T: I might not be, you know.
Me: I’m pretty sure.
T: Sometimes girls look like boys. And sometimes boys look like girls.
Me: That’s true. But boys have penises. Good night, sweetheart.
T: Girls don’t have penises? How do they pee?
Me: They have something else. They have vaginas. Good night, sweetheart.
T: But do they pee with their baginas?
Me: Vaginas. Yes. Good night, sweetheart.
T: Do girls have bums?
Me: Yes. Everybody has a bum.
T: Everybody? Even Kitty?
Me: Yes. Everybody.
T: Good night, Mommy.
(And off he drifted to sleep, safe in the comforting thought that everybody has a bum.)