Monthly Archives: October 2014

The Downward Spiral

Have I mentioned the Fun Apartment has an extra feature to make it even more fun? It’s on the fourth floor! That’s three flights of stairs!

You probably know not to ask, but I’ll answer anyway: Nope. No elevator.

That’s right, it’s that New York City exclusive: the fourth floor walk-up. And honestly, the stairs don’t really bother me that much. Coming back from Trader Joe’s, I groan inwardly to look at them, but for the most part, they go by quickly enough. Thanks to the free babysitting at the Y, I’m not gasping for breath at the Fun Apartment’s door. Also, imagine the health benefits for the kids! After all, they have been scaling the heights for years now. Little demanded to climb them at a shockingly early age and I’ll be honest, I was happy to let him. I just walked up slowly behind him as he scooted after his big brother. Aside from the horrible morning when he, at eleven months, decided he’d also like to go down and did so in a barrel roll, he’s never expressed any hesitation.

Until now.

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You know how your day has pinch points in it? Times when you have stuff that has to happen before anything else can happen? I’ve found that my kids have been remarkably astute at finding the pinch points. And flopping down, howling, in the middle of them.

And that’s what Little is doing now. He sits at the bottom of the stairs and loses it. Sometimes he wants to be first one to the top, but the colossal size of his fuss distracts him from actually moving until his brother has been inside the apartment for ten minutes. Other times he wants to play “visitor.” That’s when he sits at the bottom of the stairs until I have come up. Then he comes and rings the doorbell. But if there is any hitch to his game, like say, me leaving the door open so I can keep track of him, then he throws down like a boss.

(Confession: one day last week, it was so bad that I was really, actually tempted to close the door, lock it, and not open it until the man of the house came home from work, three hours later. I didn’t actually do that, so I suppose that’s a win.)

We have really nice, understanding neighbors here at the Fun Apartment. And they have to put up with a fair amount of our kid business anyway. I don’t want to subject them to any more. But right now, they are getting a good hard look at the hopeless poopstorm err fine art of parenting.

Usually, the little guy and I go on several daily outings. Now, with this insurmountable stair problem, I am tempted to stay locked up here in the wonder palace until the siege has ended.  At least it’s New York City. They deliver anything here.

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Sit on This.

A development here at the Fun Apartment: A New Couch!

I always think our living room is like a dollhouse living room.

I always think our living room is like a dollhouse living room.

Actually, I think technically it is a chair and something called a “sectional.” But for our purposes, it’s a couch! It’s not exactly new, either. We got it the way the Mister and I get all of our furniture: someone else decided to get rid of it. In fact, this is how we got our previous couch, although someone had taken the trouble to haul that one all the way down to the street.

This new couch never spent any time on the street, so it has that going for it.

But it fits perfectly in the couch place! Perfectly! We all fit on it comfortably! And I can put all the board games under it! It opens up the whole room! We are in heaven! I think we could possibly accommodate overnight guests on the new couch, but that would probably have to be some sort of emergency situation, because the guest would either have a very early bedtime, or would have to spend an hour whispering with us on our bed, in the dark. (Sounds cozy, doesn’t it? Do let us know if you’re visiting!)

But in our new living room world order, our coffee table doesn’t fit. It’s too long and wide. It’s got to go.

The Man of My Dreams and I are not totally on the same page about its replacement. He sent me a picture of a tasteful small square table , with another table under it. What the hell can I store in that, I ask you? I sent him a picture of a tall, wrong color stand-y sort of thing with shelves and drawers. He said it’s too tall. But look at the storage! I urged him. Imagine all the things we could put away in there! He couldn’t see it.

So, he wants something to look nice, with lots of crap around it. I want something that might look a bit off, but with no crap around it.

Clearly, our value systems are clashing.

Also, our budget for filling this need is somewhat limited. It pretty much consists of my leftover birthday money.

I feel like we should have an open contest. Anyone who finds a solution that looks ok and holds a bunch of stuff wins! We’ll put up a plaque with their name on it and I’ll knit them a squid.

See! Airbnb, here we come!

Your name here.

I wonder if we should get rid of the coffee table, just to light a fire under ourselves. Imagine the space! (Imagine all the toys without permanent homes!) Imagine the open floor plan! (Imagine that open floor disappearing under Lincoln logs and race tracks and pretend food!)

You see the problem, right? I’ll start working on the squid.

 

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